You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize