I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
