Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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