Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
