is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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