omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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