she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
