She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize