p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
