whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
