I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
