did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
