dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
