Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
