is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
