No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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