Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house

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(310): View more from California

it was a shit show

(917): View more from New York City

We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him

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(843): View more from South Carolina

so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

i am grossed the fuck out

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(308): View more from Nebraska

i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .

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(201): View more from New Jersey

On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just forgot I was standing up.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!

(804): View more from Virginia

It's basically my crowning achievement.

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