omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
BRING THE BAGELS
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
