I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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