Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
