...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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