I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
