and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
