Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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