I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
