24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
