We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
