a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
