when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's blow job season.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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