watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
