I feel great
I just peed on a car
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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