Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
