well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
