So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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