Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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