my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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