We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
