i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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