i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
