When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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