I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
