I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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