his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
