oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize