So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
