I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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