he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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