I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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