Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
