so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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