Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
