Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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