I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
