But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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