I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So much rum. So many feels.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
